RAGE

I know you have a link to my blog and I don't care if you see this... In actual fact, I WANT you to see just how FURIOUS, ANGRY, PISSED OFF I am... I want you to KNOW how much I want you to DIE!!!

1. MY HEART IS NOT A:

YOU CAN PLAY WITH

2. I AM NOT SOME KIND OF 

YOU CAN TOY WITH AND TOSS ASIDE

3. I AM NOT A FUCKING

I HAVE FEELINGS - I AM HUMAN!!!

4. YOU'RE A LYING SACK OF 

5. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I WANT TO STAB YOU IN THE 

WITH A 

AND WATCH YOU CRY IN AGONY!!!

6. I HOPE HE SEES WHAT I SEE... NO WAIT, I HOPE HE'S EXACTLY LIKE YOU... SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT I SEE...

Mr Lovelace out...

Best Chick Flicks Ever

Here are the trailers for my favourite chick flicks:

Romy and Michele's high school reunion:




Muriel's Wedding:



The Holiday:




Bridget Jones Diary:




Mr Lovelace out...

An ethical writer

An interesting topic was raised when my cousin Topsy Krets and I were chatting one day. (He has a wicked blog, so check it out sometime :-) ) He asked me what my ethical codes were as a journalist.

I love being asked this question, because I feel that I have a very high ethical standard.

As journo students, we are forced to study ethics as a subject. I leant a lot about the "code" that we as journalists should follow. I must admit, I do see a lot of unethical articles being published in all form of media, i.e: radio, tv, online and print.

I have on many occasions come across a situation that needed an ethical choice to be made.

1. I never publish ANY embargo articles before the embargo date.

2. I never troll on other sites. There is nothing useful when trolling. I do on the other hand give criticisms and advice and sometimes a handy link or two. Also, when I give criticisms I always point out something good about the article before I point out the bad. A trait I learnt from the great Megan Rusi

3. NEVER EVER EVER use images from google images. Those images are NOT in the public domain. Sure use those images in your blog etc, but never in an article and also never claim them to be yours. A few articles of mine were stolen by some Namibian website claiming it was "free content" - what a load of bull kak... Stealing an article is the same as stealing a picture taken by someone else and claiming it is yours.

4. I never use Wikipedia for research... and trust me, I see a lot of people looking up information on Wikipedia... I do look on wikimedia commons for free images that are in the public domain. I can use those images without having to worry about copyright law. However I do contact the person who posted the image before I use their picture in an article/slideshow/thumbnail etc... I send them an email as it is a nice thing to do. And even though it is copyright free, I still credit the photographer. ALWAYS! ;-)

5. I prefer conducting my interviews over email, that way I can directly quote them without making a single mistake. Journalists have a unique way of manipulating a person's quote, so that it still sounds exactly like what they said, but make's a slightly ambiguous. Example: what he really said: "my wife Glenda and I love buying toys for orphans each Christmas . What a tabloid journo would say: Max said he and his wife to love orphans so much that they buy them Christmas toys to play with. If you don't get the ambiguity, try reading that with a dirty mind. Why with a dirty mind? Because we as journalists are trained to think with dirty minds to avoid such ambiguities in the first place, not to make them.

6. I will never sacrifice my journalistic integrity to gain more traffic. I've no intention of becoming a trender. By that I mean writing about things that would only be read by people because A) it's about celebs B) it's about sex and C) it's about Celebs having sex.

I have more to say on this topic, however, I am too busy trying to de-sex-ify a condom article... go figure...

Lovelace out...

Marina and the diamonds - Obessesions

I'm still on my Marina and the Diamonds buzz and I just have to say, buying that album was totally worth it.

Here's a track that I like a lot. There's a part in the song that reminds me of the "normal" things couples usually land up doing... sure going out for a romantic time at a lake side restaurant is awesome, but lets get honest... you're not going to do that EVERY night... right???

Well, you're likely to do the usual stuff, like going to the supermarket, deciding on what to cook for supper, choosing a new set of crockery, etc that's normal couple stuff... that's the defining moments that sets the tone for a relationship (mind you, my ignorance is probably showing up now... well can you blame me??? The only relationships I've ever had were with books... I know more straight guys who've had sex than I have... and I'm gay)... granted, having a surprise gourmet supper is awesome, but that's not love (well it's more like pseudo-love), it's more like "appreciation"... The real ;ove is when you see your partner come home from work stressed (and even though you are too) you offer to do the cooking and wash the dishes afterwards... - am I wrong???

Here's the part in the song that reminds me so much of an average moment in any relationship:

Supermarket, oh what packet of crackers to pick?
They're all the same,
one brand, one name,
But really they're not
Look, look just choose something quick
People are staring, time to come quick in
Skin is on fire; just choose something, something, something.
Pressure overwhelming
Next minute I am turning out of the door
facing one week without food
A day, a day, when things, things are pretty bad
Don't let it make you feel sad, 
The crackers were probably bad luck anyway





Mr Lovelace out... :-)

My favourite game songs in bass and acoustic

I love the sound of the bass guitar and acoustic guitar ... no secret... It's just awesome ok... I also love to play video games, so I decided to search YouTube to find some people who have created a bass or acoustic versions of my favourite video game songs... enjoy...

Aeriths theme (Final Fantasy vii)



Silent Hill 1 intro



Final Fantasy X (otherworld Jechts' theme)



Deus Ex intro



Metal Gear Solid



Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater (I think (o_0))



Mr Lovelace out...

I'm a diamond...

I'm not entirely sure if many South African's know about a singer who goes by the name of "Marina and the diamonds," but I've recently bought her CD and I can say that I love every song on that album.

This is Marina :-)

What makes her music so great to listen to is the fact that it is clearly not auto-tuned and she writes her own lyrics...

The words are beautiful. Poetry with music... not this "Suck my cockiness" kak that Rihanna sings...

At first I thought her music was a bit "out there", but now I find that it's all very "relatable", much like Adele's 21 album... (That album is played to death on the radio)

The difference between Adele's album and Marina's album, is that Marina's album is actually happy, not : "OK it's Adele time, better prepare myself for self-deprecation..."

The one song I particularly like is "Hermit the Frog" (I suppose it's an accidental typo and she decided to keep i.e. the typo being Kermit the Frog)

My favourite stanza in the song/poem (which is the chorus by the way):

When my heart just burst like a glass balloon,
I let it fly too high and it shattered too soon
Now I was the wrong damn girl, 
In the wrong damn room
I broke my glass balloon,
I let go of my glass balloon


So cute and lovely don't you think?

And she has an amazing voice and I did I mention she's original??? :-)

I'm a total Marina and the Diamonds fan ;-)

A hug for a friend

These are tough times, and a friend of mine is having a really shitty day... so I think what I need to do is cheer her up a little...

A little hug can go a long way
especially on a really kak day
It's not like I won't hug you anyway
But I'll make it a little more special today

You're so special, like an umbrella
Whenever I'm sad and under the weather
You're always there
Ready to share

Today is just day my friend
Just realise it's one of many
I'm here so you can depend
Just remember I don't like "fanny"

I know its scary
worse than expired dairy
Don't be afraid my little koi
You still have me and Roy Roy

Mr Love lace out :-)

The Bee and the Black Rose

I’m sitting on my bed just thinking

How you said you’d be my shoulder when resting

I sit in anger with rage infecting

How you lied when I when I spent time spending

Before I met you, I was complacent

A wall so strong, so tall and gallant

Now I lie in rubble, covered in dust and cement

While you move on you giant pestilent!

You see that rose that sits so high?

High above my room’s sky?

It sits in sadness, why’d you lie?

Why’d you carry on, why’d you spy?

My emotions so twisted by your lust

Left me wondering “why did I trust?”

Your foolproof planning with a book

Fills me with anger, rage and vengeance

The worst of all is I’m not the only one to have looked

But many have fallen for your artificial resplendence

The Black Rose that once was red

Now looks upon me with the greatest dread

A constant reminder that you’re a fraud

Yes I said it, thank you Lord!

Now I see that broken rose

With the greatest of respect

I’m not the only one you’ve hurt with your facist pose

Next time I see you, I’ll squash you you little insect!

It seems you have already forgotten me

Don’t think you’re a free little bee

I’m the Queen Bitch here Mr bald head

Can’t wait to sting you DEAD!

10 things that make PJ beautiful...

I was busy chatting with a friend of mine over BBM today and one thing that I picked up, is that he is either modest, in denial or lying to himself about just how attractive he is... and its the truth... I wish I could post his profile pic to show you...

Having said that, it's not just his looks that make him amazingly attractive, however, I must admit that I have only ever seen him once... We've been friends on twitter for a while now, I can't seem to figure out how to track when we began following each other, but I'm about 79.25% sure that it was this time last year...

So I decided I would write a "10 reasons why you are beautiful PJ" list...

1) You have an incredibly beautiful smile...

2) The most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen on a man...

3) Pretty damn tall, with nice arms and a 'V' shaped bod...

4) Nice casual look, means you're not vain/ egotistical - a major sexy sign...

5) You read books - which to me is very hot. Why? because reading = brains and brains = sexy nerd ;-)

6) You give me confidence (and more than likely other people as well) and having the ability to inject confidence into people is a trait that can only be oozed out of people with a x-factor (and that's a good thing)

7) Pearly white teeth (that make me want to go have my coffee stained teeth bleeched... (0_o) )

8) Will be a ridiculously attractive angel because white actually suites him- yes I have seen the pics on facebook PJ ;-P

9) Is not afraid to be a little goofy, a very sexy trait, why, because no one like a man as stiff as a pole...

10) And the most attractive thing about YOU PJ is that YOU don't realise how attractive YOU really are!!! The second a good looking person realises that they are indeed super good looking, is the second they become the ugliest people in the world :-)

Stay super awesome, super cool, Mr superman ;-)

Mr Love lace out... 

P.S. the 10 things list, just reminded me of Ten things I hate about you...

My top 5 Tim Burton moments

It’s not every day you come across a great movie that generates major fandom and shoots out emotions you never thought you’d ever have for a movie. In my eyes Tim Burton is a master of storytelling and a creative genius who has created some of the world’s greatest movies. It comes as no surprise that he is my favourite director of all time. There are very few movies that he has made, that I have not enjoyed. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I’ve liked them all…

So I’ve decided to blog my five most beloved Tim Burton movies, why they are my favourite and my favourite scene –that is of course if youtube actually has it…

5. Coraline

Why Coraline? Well the story has two morals, both of them I learned a while ago. The first one is, that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and the second is you never realise what you have till it’s gone. The casting of the movie was also superb… Jennifer Saunders, Teri Hattchet and Dakota Fanning to name a few… While I still worked at a video rental store, I often recommended the movie, only to have the parents demand a refund, because of the movies’ dark nature… Uhm sorry lady, did you not see you kid standing at the horror section explaining –in detail –every scene in SAW V???

Every time I see this scene, I think of the series Pushing Daisies.  You know the two aunts who do the synchronised swimming... ok ok these two are opera trapeze artists, but I still think of them lol...  Super cool...

4. Corpse Bride

Finding love after death? Hopeless romantic movie making gold!!! There’s something about never letting go of finding love, even after death, which makes me all happy inside… Maybe it’s because I’m one of “those” people… and once you’ve found love, you’re willing to let it go and sacrifice yourself for the one you truly love… MOVIE GOLD I TELL YOU, GOLD!

The embedding codes for this video clip was disabled, but here's the link. Corpse Bride ending.

3. Batman and Batman Returns

I couldn’t tell which one I preferred more so I put them both in the same slot… I loved Jack Nicolson as the Joker and Danny Devito as the Penguin… and Michelle Pfieffer as Selina Kyle… Purrrrrfect casting perfect… Take a guess why I liked it lol…

Ok first of all the blood looks like tomato sauce, but this was a pretty low budget movie... what I liked about this scene was that Selena Kyle AKA Catwomen is a vigilante feminist who hates abusive men and women helpless women... I'm totally all about women empowerment...

2. Edward Scissorhands

I honestly cried at the end of this movie… It is brilliant and second only to number one –obviously. I mean who even thinks of something like Edward scissorhands??? Come the Fuck on!!! It’s amazing!!! This was one of the first Johnny Depp movies I’ve seen and I was an instant fan… The humour and love in the beginning and the sadness at the end and all the emotions inbetween… like the orgasm causing haircuts are well worth watching over and over and over and over and… you get the idea…

I like how Edward tries to be normal by using cutlery and I love his expression at the end... so cute :)

1. The nightmare before Christmas

I remember when I was younger, this movie would come on every Christmas eve and I would wake up early to watch it over and over and over again every year, like clockwork. I would watch Jack Skelington jump around singing and his pet ghost dog zero would follow him everywhere. I remember Sally’s body parts falling off and her longing for Jack to realise that she is hopelessly in love with him. I remember Lock, stock and barrel and their walking bathtub. I loved watching Jack kick Oogie Boogies rag like ass and saving Santa and Christmas in one go. I never once forgot that one scene when Jack and Sally are standing together on the curved hill overlooking the pumpkin patch of Halloween town… I keep thinking of me and my future partner like that, standing on a hill with nothing but ourselves… I also think of the two of us dead in the underworld standing together on a hill… how romantic!!! sigh… the Nightmare Before Christmas, is and always will be my favourite Tim Burton movie of all time and also one of my top 10 favourite movies of all time…

This is the opening scene and is my all time favourite... It's just plain epic! And I really like how Jack is on fire hahaha super cool :)

Mr love lace out…

I'm a nice guy, now FUCK OFF!

I'm a nice guy... many people have told me this... and everyone knows that nice guys finish last and right now, I am sick of it...

I do a lot for people, I cook, I compliment, buy drinks, buy flowers, share chocolate, give chocolate, give attention, listen, laugh at kak jokes, smile, always polite, shoulder to cry on, speak the truth, honest, open and non-judgemental...

I am about 3cm away from not giving a total fuck for the entire human race... I will remain a nice person, but I will in fact not give a shit for anyone who dares make a pass at me... Why? BECAUSE I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF BEING THE ONE LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN!!! I'm always pushed aside, because the gigantic douchebag cunt with a six pack, who will eventually cheat/beat/lie and screw you over, is in great demand while the nice guy sits in the pouring rain...

Urgh... I'm close to reaching the point when someone sends me a "Hi you look like a nice guy, want to chat sometime?" message on Gaydar/Prodigits/Grindr etc, by answering "Hi there! :-) , yes I am a nice guy now FUCK OFF!!! because you and I both now that in a few days you're not going to be interested in me, because you saw some guy with giant dick, six pack and bad boy image... and lets be honest... even though you are looking for that "nice guy" you won't take him because 1) he doesn't have a six pack 2) you're "only looking for friends" and "may be something else" 3) you've probably lied about at least six things in you bio and 4) you don't really have a clue what your type is in the first place... and even if you are truly being sincere, you'll respond to this message anyway, because you happen to be the nice guy and that you know exactly how I feel and why I am writing this message, because it has happened to you in the past... if not THEN FUCK OFF ALREADY!!! "

And this isn't just an on-line re-occurrence... Of the few guys I've been on dates with, they've all told me to my face, "I really like you" and the next day, they are chatting up a model... thanks... let me send a postcard to my self-esteem saying "you got tossed again" and add a smiley face and a "lol" to make the message a little bit more bearable...

I'll always be the nice guy, but from now on, don't EVER expect me to treat you like a king...

Mr Love lace out...

Sorry Bradley Cooper, but Kellan Lutz is the Sexiest Celeb Alive

Sorry Bradley and the fucktards at People Magazine... I think Kellan Lutz is far more sexy than Bradley Cooper... Kellan Lutz is oozes awesome, has a lot down-to-earth-ee-ness and doesn't let people take him for a gat /a poes depending on how vulgar you like to be ;-) ... (to my international readers, that is SA slang for "take him for a ride")

Bradley please do the world a favour and take a shower... and People Magazine, please use the title : Sexiest Celeb Alive next time you do another one of these articles... Why? Well I pretty fucking doubt you've seen and met every last man in the world... so please, don't make it as if you have seen them all by saying "the sexiest man alive"...

Here's a few pictures of Mr Lutz. He  looks exponentially more attractive than Mr Cooper...and cleaner and actually wears a t-shirt... smile for the camera :-D

Really cool pic... is he wearing the twilight vampire contact lenses  ???

Those eyes are so striking!!! :-)

Got a problem? :-P

Yes, he is epic... just deal with it...

He's so awesome he'd beat Chuck Norris in teeth shining duel... 

See, even he grows stubble... 

He really likes that scarf  (0_o)

...such a romantic image...

This doesn't even need a caption....

BTW no, I am not a twilight fan... I've liked Kellan Lutz, before he was Emmet Cullen... I've watch Stick it  close to about 400 times Accepted about 200 times and Prom Night twice and also Generation Kill... I will admit, I have watched Twilight, but I still think he is too talented to be in there... The mere fact that Robert Pattison (what's his surname???) and Taylor Lautner are seen as the hotties of Twilight, disturbs me... Kellan is far more better to look at, more talented and is probably the best actor in Twilight in my opinion (well except for Dakota Fanning)

One of the main reasons I have a lot of respect for him, not only as an actor, but as a person, is that he - unlike many people in Hollywood - is perfectly content with his sexuality and has no qualms about his gay fans lusting after him (an act I am guilty of, however, I no longer partake in, mainly because crushing on straight guys is as useless as waiting for a miracle after Judgement Day). He has also said that he wouldn't mind having a gay man for a room mate. How ef-ing cool is that???

So, I say FUCK YOU to People Magazine for saying that Bradley Cooper is the sexiest man alive...

Mr Love lace out :)

Meat free Mondays...

I know its Tuesday, but I have to admit something, I support meat free Mondays...

It's kinda cool to think that you're making a difference, a small one, but every tiny bit helps... Like the story about the woman who threw stranded starfish back in the ocean...

I've attempted to become a vegetarian and I know that one day I will become one, but at the moment, my body does seem to be a bit attached to meat...

I'm already losing my lust for red meat, but letting go of chicken is going to be one hell of a giant bitch-turd...

I'm also trying to become a vegetarian, as a means to protest against animal cruelty... I am an animal lover... I very big one and I am not afraid to stand up to an animal abuser twice my size... just think of the animal, I might be half the size of this inhumane monster, but the animal will probably be an eighth of the size of him...

I'm also, like most people, completely against animal poaching. Not just the Rhino like my one friend, I'm an activist for all animals that are being poached to extinction... Why, I'm busy working on an article that shows the animals that have gone extinct in the last ten years... and those that are practically extinct...

I'd like to think that one day, I'll not only be able to not eat any animal, but to be able to fight and put poachers and animal abusers in jail or at least at the mercy of the general public...

Mr Love lace out...

Iconic images...

These are a few iconic images that will constantly remind me of my childhood. :)

They don't need captions... but if your not sure, post a comment...

Enjoy :)

Mr Love Lace out

Land of the 7 Billion

Ok people listen up... We're about to reach a population overload...

Some woman on Earth is going to give birth to the 7 billionth little shit today... and it will probably be an "oops, I didn't plan to have you..."

That's right I said it... *snaps my fingers

I just tweeted this: Reaching 7 billion people is not something worth celebrating. That's 7 billion mouths' mother nature has to feed.

As we can all see, the world is becoming extremely overpopulated. People are living on top of each other.

Just take a look at this residential living space in Hong Kong:

This is insane... and this is just in Hong Kong... OK OK OK.... its Hong Kong I know, they do have a lot more people than we do, but the country itself is larger than ours... sooner or later this is everyone's destiny. A destiny where people are forced to live in small cramped up places that look hypnotisingly identical...

Another important thing to remember is that the Age ratio is very out of whack... In Japan, there are more old people than young people. They've implemented a one child only policy and because of that, their birth to death ratio is out of balance. Basically, we're running out of Japs, because they are trying to control their population growth... So they have more old people and not enough young people... Because of this, their economy might also struggle in a few years...

But then you have places that have too many people... period i.e. countries in Africa... People in Africa breed... a lot... ergo, it's overpopulated... but you probably already knew that... I've never seen it for myself, but I have seen many pictures (from people who have been to places like Ethiopia, Congo and Nigeria) and I can safely say, it's terrible... Overpopulated areas are rife with diseases, infections, lack of food and water...

And they are also dying, horribly. Dying from starvation is a terrible way to leave the Earth, but there is just not enough food to feed the world... The sad thing is many people waste food... I've seen this before... I've worked at take-away and in retail food stores... It's amazing just how much food and water is wasted... I've seen people shave while the tap is running and use what I would guess about three litres of water to wash one spoon... (no jokes...) I've seen people throw away hamburgers because the roll wasn't fresh enough...

It scares me to think that in 50 years, the population has doubled... oh and that isn't a steady growth rate, its exponential... meaning in 50 years time (when I'm 72 urgh) the population wont be 14 billion, but probably around 20 billion...

I'll probably be gunned down by saying this but here goes. In the ecology part of my biology classes, I was taught a certain graph... the "J" graph... It's a very important graph that is used in population dynamics... They authors never used people as an example, but rather animals...

Here's the story: everything in nature has a predator, even humans (which happens to be animals.. and human are animals predators...confusing no??? lol)... basically, if you remove the predator, the preys' population will spike exponentially, forming a "J" like scale...after the line reaches its optimum i.e. overpopulated, the population level begins to fluctuate for a while and then in all of a sudden BAM most of the population is exterminated. The causes of the population decline include: starvation, cannibalism, disease, no living space and dehydration.

I believe something similar is going to happen to people... and very soon... 2012 doesn't seem so far-fetched to me any more...

Honestly, I think the planet is fighting back... earthquakes, hurricanes, new diseases... these are signs people... signs... not biblical signs... natural signs...

Love lace out...

I’m not bitter, just single…

So a friend just asked me the one thing that every single person dreads the most: “how’s the love life?”

As you all know, I am luckless in the land of romance, love, lust, etc etc etc… I have tried, and tried and tried… nothing ever materialises (stupid auto correct made me retype ‘materialises’ three times…) and I usually land up sitting on the side lines like a shadow or worse, invisible – like always…

I don't know what it is... Is it me? my personality? Physique?

Many people have told me that I’ll find love when I least expect it, and that my Mr right just hasn’t found me yet, I but often think to myself, was your first love your Mr right? If not, why should I wait for Mr right, can’t I have a few Mr wrongs in the mean time, like you???

I get that I come across as desperate, but that’s only because it’s the only thing that I’ve ever really wanted for as long as I can remember… I also have a habit of over analyzing everything, and people say I shouldn’t do that, but it’s not a trait that can easily be discarded. It isn’t something that you can deny yourself either… I can’t, not analyze something even for a little bit, because if I said I wouldn’t, I’d be lying to myself…

I also understand that I’m not entitled to have a boyfriend, but I can’t help wondering if maybe the universe is preventing me from having a boyfriend because of the one incident I had (the day I lost my V-card). Should I apologise??? Do I need to??? Why should I have to if I do in fact have to apologise???

When I had my near death experience shortly after I jumped out of a train, for a few good weeks, finding love was the last thing on my list… then I finally got a shiny glimmer of hope, but I’m sure that light has faded and moved to someone else (whether or not I have over analyzed it I have no idea). And while that is totally fine, I mean, shouldn’t everyone find love??? And who am I to prevent it… that would selfish of me. Fly like a bird, fly till the sky is no more and fly some more J. I often wonder when will the glimmer stay, if ever???

I suppose for now I should concentrate on healing my leg, but I can’t keep ignoring the whole in my soul.

I just remembered something pertinent to the blog: the world's smallest violin... Hahaha

Mr love Lace out…

Is Lady Gaga the Bonnie Tyler of our generation?

Oh Bonny Tyler... I love you really I do, but seriously I thought someone gave me a massive dose of crack or some seriously wicked drug after watching your music video...

I watched "Total eclipse of the heart" for the first time today, ok more like,watched the music video and paid attention to it instead of thinking of falling in love with someone - like always.

After watching it I was like WTF???

The music video was so weird it reminded me of a Lady Gaga music video... So does that make Lady Gaga the Bonnie Tyler of our generation???


This was just plain insane and made no sense what so ever...

Love Lace out...

Gay is not a synonym for paedophile!

Before I start this story, just know that this is not the first time it's happened to me...

I started using the bus again last week seeing as I'm a smidge stronger in the arms and can climb steps a bit easier. The only difference - aside form the crutches - is that I no longer sit right at the back, but rather, right in the front... I also sit on the right hand side of the bus (the part that can fit three people)...

So I'm sitting there, minding my own business listening to my mp3 player, looking out the window and generally not bothering anyone... Then this over-protective bitch (I chose bitch over the C*** because I thought it wouldn't be as harsh...)comes on the bus... There were other seats available, but she decides to sit by me... I have no objections to people sitting next to me as long as the don't bother me...

She also happened to have a little boy with her... I guesstimate his age around two... But this is what pissed me off... Instead of sitting like a normal person, she sits on the edge of the seat with her kid on her lap... I never paid much attention to it, but then the bitch kept giving me this kak look like "don't look at  my son" as if to say I'm a child molester... I felt like saying to her " gay is not a synonym for paedophile you C* - uhm Bitch"

This is the third time it has happened to me... my issue is, had I been a more macho, "straight looking" guy, or a woman, that would never have happened... I know I tend to be a bit paranoid, but this isn't paranoia talking, this is pure observation... I get that some parents are just over-protective, but why the look she gave me???

I mean, do I look like a paedophile??? I don't fuckin' think so!!! I should know what one looks like... I was molested... and I can assure you, strangers on the bus don't molest you... family or in my case family friends do the molesting... all I have to say is "Fuck you Lady"... nuff said

Mr Love lace out...

Blood Diamond Friends

This morning I was sitting on the bus thinking about all the momentary best friends I've had in my life...

They come and go, and it's sad because I can think of three whose names I can't  recall... oh how time affects the memory... yet although I cannot remember who they once were, that doesn't mean I've forgotten what they meant to me... Sitting outside work, gossiping about our bitch for a floor manager or challenging each other on a swing at the local park... Tranforming (or vandalising) "Hetties Tuck Shop" into "Hetties Fuck Shop"...

I feel like one of those people who are forced to dig for diamonds in Northern Africa. I finally find a diamond and three seconds later the diamond is taken away from me, never to be seen again...

My friends mean everything to me... they always have... I've never had any romantic relations with anyone so I had to give the love I had to someone... so I gave it to friends... and I still do... That's why I'm the friend you can call at 3am to help you bury a dead body... :)

I don't really have much to say, but to all the friends I've lost to time, distance, drugs, the grim reaper etc... I miss you and even though I might not remember you name, it's your aura and being that I remember ever so well...

Mr Love lace out...

Eat, Pray and Lots of Love...

First of all thanks Kemptoo for reminding me to write this!!! I forgot to write an update piece about my broke leg saga lol... well here it is...

After my accident I was sent to Groote Schuure Hospital... Not too bad if you get past the boredom and begin to realise you’ve missed a few spots on the ceiling while counting them...

I was at the hospital for eight days, and let me tell, it’s no cake walk... If any of my friends land up in hospital, I will be there every day for both visiting hours... Unless you’ve been admitted to the hospital for longer than one day you won’t have a single clue how much a one hour visit means... even from people you don’t really like...

You are practically starved 90% of the time, because they need to do tests, you can’t even drink water and the worst thing is, if you have a broken leg, you have to take a dump in a bedpan... not cool... was constipated for seven out of the eight days I was there...

What happened was my ankle broke in two places and my tibia was sliced in half... The doc said I must have an op... Yay me... To fix the ankle bones, screws needed to be inserted into the bone to keep it there and to keep it stable (oh and most people ask if they come out... no they stay in till I kick the bucket...so basically I’ll be setting of airport alarms and US airport officials will probably do a cavity search to make sure I don’t have any illegal metals in my body... FML). The second part is I have a metal plate over the tibia, so that I can walk again... My doc let’s call him Dr Hairy Chest  said I have to wait for the swelling to go down before I can have the operation... the swelling took six days to de-swell only to swell up again after the op and pretty much remain swollen seven weeks later...

Crappy thing was I had my 22^nd birthday on the Sunday, the day before my operation... It’s not cool to spend your birthday at the hospital, but when your friends throw you a small impromptu birthday party, you realise that it’s the little things that make the biggest difference... I wasn’t expecting that, so when I saw them I had to fight tears the entire time... Princess Minnie’s smile turned my upsetting day around, seeing Miss Dictator and Yugi Bear made me realise that my friendship with them will undoubtedly last a life time and when I saw Sherbert, I realised that no matter what happens, she’s always got my back. I swear that was the most touching birthday I’ve ever had. It even surpasses my 21^st birthday... Even now I am fighting back the tears dying to escape my eyelids...

After the Birthday and the operation, I was in a crap load of pain... and what’s worse is that the morphine injection never helped one bit... I’m not kidding I had two morphine injections (not at the same time, six hours between each shot). Neither of them worked and the nurses refused to give me other medication, out of fear of overdosing.... (I suppose I should be grateful but I felt like dying really...) I was in uncontrollable pain for 14 hours until I decided to reject the useless morphine and opt of the second option, a tremadol and two panado’s... It worked... like seriously... I was in heaven...

Two days after the op, I had my first physio session and Dr Hairy Chest said if the physio clears me today I could go home... This was the ticket I’d been waiting for, so I decided I was gonna rock Physio session... I passed!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Well this song pretty much sums up how I felt in the car going home:

George Michael : Freedom

Mr LoveLace out...

Shake, Rattle and Crutch roll

Last week Friday I attended a good friend’s 21^st birthday... Her mother asked me to write something for her the day before... very last minute, but you know, I’m starting to like this “spontaneous” time in life...

I will admit standing up there, with zero alcohol in me and next to no blood in my caffeine stream, I shook like a leaf in the wind... Freaking shaking like Parkinson’s sufferer...

But I made my speech and it was a hit with everyone... (Yay)

So I thought it would be nice for me to post the speech, so that you can read it and, more importantly, as an ode to the Birthday Girl.

 Princess Minnie’s 21^st speech

Good evening everybody, Mr and Mrs _____ and of course our favourite little lady, Princess Minnie.

I was asked yesterday morning to write a speech for you on your 21^st. I gladly accepted the challenge of writing a five day late birthday speech, however, I never anticipated how difficult it would be. 

I sat for hours thinking about what to say. No really I did. After a while I declared I had writers block.

So I thought to myself, What Would Princess Minnie do? I thought about it for about 3 seconds and realised that it was a bad idea. You’d probably leave it till the next day.

So I decided to seek help from a higher power. I thought, what would Lady Gaga do? Then I realised she’d rock up wearing a 21^st birthday cake and sing for you. Unfortunately I can’t sing and I don’t ever plan on wearing an edible outfit.

So eventually I done what any half-normal person would do. I went on google. Did you know that if you google “good 21^st birthday speeches” you’ll get 657,000 results. I sat there stunned, because I knew not one of those speeches was good enough for you.

They wouldn’t have the heart, soul, humour and embarrassment that is needed for a good 21^st speech.

They wouldn’t express what a stunning smile you have, nor the infectious happiness you constantly carry. I will never forget that smile of yours, and thinking about it, will always put a smile on my face.

It will never contain the courage you have by standing in front of a camera while a massive crowd of people are walking towards you shouting the words : S-L-U-T is that what you think of me?

It won’t contain how bipolar you get after eating your daily supply of kiwi fruit, nor will it contain your magical ability to outwit all the nit twits in our class.

It wouldn’t say that inside that tiny frame of yours lies an Amazonian Warrior Princess that can outrun everyone to the nearest hot chocolate seller.

It wouldn’t have the picture of you meticulously peeling off the pastry off the pastry of a samoosa instead of eating it like a normal person. But then again that’s why we all love you.

 It wouldn’t contain how much all of us care for you, and all of us being here tonight proves that.

Today I thought of the perfect speech ever. It’s short and sweet, packs a punch and it can be tweeted.

So here’s my speech: YOU’RE FREAKIN AWESOME PRINCESS MINNIE! HAPPY 21^ST BIRTHDAY.

Mr Love lace out...

Trainwrecked...

Hi guys!

Its been a while since my last confessio... uhm I mean blog... I'm sure you've all been wondering why this chatterbox has gone AWOL (and if you haven't well... that's ok :) )...

Well on my way home from tech, I was sitting on the train (oh and it happened on 16 August...) minding my own business as usual, doing some research on my Blackberry and out of nowhere this asshole grabs my BB out my hand and runs out the train and evaporates from site like the abominable snowman... And what does yours truly do??? Well I decided to catch the fucker... only that didn't play out too well on my side...

After the grab, I got up, looked at the thief dead in the eye and almost ran after him, but I remembered that I need to grab my bag that was on the seat next me... So I quickly grabbed the bag and ran out the train to catch the thieving bastard... unfortunately I didn't realise the train had started to move...

Yes, I will go down as the idiot who jumped out of a moving train... Well after I jumped, I land on the ground with an enormous thump, I was tossed around like a ragdoll - thanks momentum, thou art such a heartless bitch - and I basically destroyed my ankle and sliced my tibia... the ankle was so broken, I could turn my foot in all directions... I hurt like hell, I was screaming my head off and the security was so surprised he just stood there like mental patient who suffers from dementia and can only say the words "I'm a ghost who pee's in ice block trays"...After repeated yelling and screaming like an insane banshee, screeching "fuck you, you thieving bastard" and "Oh my God why did I just jump out of a moving train?" the catatonic security guard came to rescue me and I felt a little bit better...

I remember quite a bit for someone who went through something that traumatic... I remember looking at my broken foot for the first time... It was shifted to the right and I tried to put in back in place, but it just flopped over to the other side... I tried to so hard to get it to stay in the correct position, but it just wouldn't stay there (since the ankle bones where completely broken off from the leg). I remember the smell of the sharp rocks, it smelled like metal and blood. only there wasn't much blood which was probably a good thing... I probably would have bled to death waiting for the ambulance, which took over an hour and a half to get there...  

The sound of trains passing will haunt me till the day I die... mainly because when the security guard helped me up, he put my down on the platform and the trains would rapidly pass by my head. That rushing sound was deafeningly loud and got a whole lot scarier with each passing train...

When the police and the ambulance came, someone else arrived with them - my dad... I have never been that excited to see my dad EVER. I burst out into tears when I saw him, not because of the pain, but because of the relief that I was no longer alone in an unknown train station, surrounded by curious train passengers and security guards who speak in broken English... I was scared shitless for an hour and a half, and that fear evaporated instantaneously when I saw my dad... (I won't go into detail about how he found out... I borrowed one of the security guards phone and on the sly posted an facebook status about my unfortunate predicament)...

At something to seven I arrived at Groote Schuur Hospital (thanks to that very late ambulance) and well my healing began...

I'll clue you in on my time at the hospital in the next blog...

Ciao for now

Mr Love Lace out...

Is this what I really want?

I sat on the bus this morning thinking about all my assignments, my work, varsity life etc and I wondered, is this really what I wanted?

Ok sure, I've kind of made a name for myself... I made a few fuck-ups (and a REALLY BIG one) but I think I've accomplished quite a bit... I have a job lined up at the end of the year (ok ok a three month contract, but I'm gonna work my ass off to stay there) and my journo course is almost over...

I'm not sure if its just me, but it seems everyone in my class is little bored by our classes... well except for edit and design :) Its the highlight of my week... I think it's because the kind of writing and the way I done things during my internship is so different... even some of the things our lecturers are teaching us is completely different... Maybe its because they are stuck in some kind of limbo and believe that journalism is the same from when they were journalists...

But I need to make one thing clear... I don't identify myself as a journalist... I don't really enjoy it that much... I like writing blogs, profiles, reviews shit like that but for some reason, this just isn't cutting out for me... maybe its just me being out of the work environment...

I realised this morning, while reading a book on murderers and suspects, that my passion for forensics is shooting back at me... unfortunately I can't study anything in forensics since my science mark is too low... #FML

But I think once my course is over, I think I should find a place that will offer a course in criminology, detective work anything in that sort of field... maybe I should enroll in the Police Academy and work my way up... 

As much as I love writing, I can't refuse my gut, my heart and my focus... I am meant to help people and I know by doing the work I am currently doing, I won't help a single soul...

Mr Lovelace out...

Gay and Single...Forever?

Gay and Single...Forever is the title of the book that I'm reading at the moment...

Very interesting read...

I ordered the book months ago on Kalahari, but never bothered to read it properly, and now that I'm back to using the trains every morning, I decided it to read again... Only this time a lot better...

First of all, the book is very easily relatible, but at the same time not relatible at all...

The book is about the author's search of couplehood or the real meaning behind it... Steven Bereznai is the author... and he's a bladdy good one at that...


Steven Bereznai - a very goodlooking man in his early thirties and he is still single... what hope is there for the rest of us... sigh sigh sigh

He dives into his past sexcapades, failed romances and his variety of "fuck buddies and tricks..." In all honesty I found a huge sense of relief while reading the book... It almost feels like Bereznai is my gay-fairy-godfather... Everytime I read the book, I begin to understand a little bit more about what it's like to be in a relationship (a gay one...) and when it's like to not be in a relationship...

There many parts in the book, to which I have zero understanding off, e.g. his usage of drugs - which I detest - his very active sex life (which is exponentially more active than that of mine...) and his great array of queer friends (compared to my three bromo's)...

But over all the book is great and just finished with it...(again but with a lot more detail) I recomend it to anybody, gay or straight... It deals with a lot of other stuff, like the hierachy of love i.e. if you are single, you're at the bottom of the food chain... It dives into what really makes people tick - on the love front anyway... and it gives the gay Bridget Jones singletons like yours truely, a shit load of perspective...

God bless Steven Bereznai...

Here are just two of the MANY quotes that stood out to me:

1) "In this world a lot of emphasis is put on being "good enough" that someone might actually want to date you. In fact there's so much pressure there are at times when it's hard to remember that singlehood is not failurehood."

2) "It has been said that a gay person does not have a true friend until he comes out, for only then does he let his true self be seen."

Brilliant stuff...

I hope to meet him one day...

Mr Love Lace out... :)

My new muse

I was sitting in the lounge watching Gordon Ramsey cooking and was contemplating whether or not I should do my homework or sit and write a new blog J guess which one won... Yeah yeah I know, I should iron out my priorities, but I’m just getting my creative juices going... I can’t run on an uninspired brain you know!!!

And that is where my blog thought of the day comes in... I didn’t notice till today that I haven’t written anything great for the past month and a half... Some of the blog posts I’ve made, like “I’m lonely not alone” are stuff I wrote months ago, but felt it was the wrong time to post them... and I have to admit, the recap blog of mine, was terrible... ouch, even a reader complained in the comment section... and let’s not even touch the poetry side... Urgh it’s totally horrible...

So I came to the conclusion that I’ve run out of muse juice and I figured out how to get more of it!!!

I need to fall in love with someone... Fast... or at least get really depressed... For some reason, many writers, not just me, write better with a negative thought pattern... Is that why Sylvia Plath committed suicide??? (mental note to self: don’t commit suicide even to achieve greatness like Sylvia Plath)... Forced depression to write better... hmmm I think I might be on to something here... sort of like Munchausen’s...

Anyhoo... I realised I wrote better when I was having unrequited love affairs with people... I got over “the View” about three months ago and ran out of muse juice about a month and half ago, so I’d say, it takes about a month and a half to completely lose all muse power after the break-up... 

Well back to the headline... I think I found a new muse... He’s our IT go-to-guy at HELL AKA Cape Peninsula University of Technology... Let’s call him “E”, hahaha or rather sex-E (you know “sexy” because he’s you know sexy... fine I’ll let you decide what you want me to call him... just add a comment below. Your choices are “E” or “sex-E”)

Like I said, he is very good looking, a little absent minded, but we’ve only been introduced last week... don’t worry guys, I won’t stalk him... ok maybe I’ll invite him on facebook and twitter and BBM (when I get a BB)... That is so not stalking OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t judge me!!! Oh and he is straight... bummer... typical me... I was told the media industry that queers roamed the offices... let me tell you something... Lesbians roam the offices, not gay men... there were only four out gays (men) on the floor I worked on... one of them left and the others still works there... (oh and I didn’t include myself) but, get this... all of them are way too old for me... two of them are like 40+ and only the one is single... Fuck me swinging... but on the fourth floor, TONS of gays, but ZERO are interested in me... (read this part as fast you can... I was typing so fast I felt a mental/emotional breakdown coming...) WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!?!? I’ll tell you why because they are fairly decent looking, and came out of long term relationships with their very good looking ex-boyfriends and now they are running around with their good looks and awesome personalities, flaunting their “I’m happy being single” statuses, while people like me are secretly falling in suicidal love for these oblivious people and when we finally take a chance and go up to that person and ask them out for coffee or dinner or a movie, they blow us off with the “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now, but it’d be cool to be friends” line and then two days later they are in a relationship with another good looking guy with abs of steel and a smile that can melt cheese... and this guy will most likely break his heart in a year or so, by cheating on him with another guy, with porn star good looks and fabulous dress code, instead of saying “Yes, I’ll have coffee with you” to the slightly pudgy, awkwardly dressed, shy, perfect boyfriend material a year ago... a guy who will treasure his boyfriend like the all the art pieces in the Louvre, all the pizza recipes in Italy and will have more love for him than the fucking Christian society for fuck sake!!! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, looks trumps everything!!! And don’t even get me fuckin’ started with guys who ask you out on a date and then decide to not show up... I think I should just dig a massive hole, throw in some wood, set the wood on fire and jump into the fire... I’m pretty fuckin’ sure it’s less painful than rejection...

Mr love lace out...