The only difference was that it came from a lesbian...
"The Speech" usually goes on the lines of "You're not happy trying to please your parents by staying in the closet" etc etc etc you should have the gist of it just by that sentence alone.
While I agree with the thought, it would feel great to have a ton of weight lifted off my shoulders, many people tend to forget that that weight will only be replaced with another set of weight called drama. I'm not in the mood for drama. At least not while I'm living under my parents' roof.
What I'm not understanding is this "happy" everyone keeps on talking about... and also this "pleasing"...
"You aren't making yourself happy by pleasing your parents"...
Uhm, last I checked, I wasn't happy, because of some other reason completely unrelated to my parents... second, I am not trying to please my parents by remaining in the closet... What I'm doing, is called protection...
I'm protecting myself from my parents... I'm protecting myself from being ostracised while still dependant on my family... I'm protecting myself from drama, tears and unwanted hatred...
I'm not happy now and I won't be if I come out to my parents if I still live with them. It's not easy, I am almost never happy at home. The only joy I get is when my niecephew is around, because she is the distraction everyone needs. She distracts me from my homophobic family and she distracts my family from the black sheep of the house as well as the morbidly obese white elephant parked right in the centre of the living room.
Sometimes gay people who throw the speech at me, should remember, not everyone will be greeted with a welcome mat when they come out... For me, I too will be greeted with a welcome mat, but the difference is, I'll be seeing it on the way out of the house.
Mr Lovelace out (or shall I say in)...
Good on ya for not coming out because someone says you HAVE to! You will know when the time is ready. . .
ReplyDeleteIt's a really sensible decision you've made.
ReplyDeleteI come from a fairly religious home, chose to tell my parents that I am lesbian and boy was there drama.
In my instance they never saw it coming. There were no signs that I was gay. In fact, I didn't even think I was because I had been brainwashed to believe that liking boys was the only way.
Yeah there were these thoughts, but nothing major every materialised from it.
Today, I know better and am in love with the most amazing woman. Yes, my family have no idea as I've crawled back into the closet, but I'm happy and there's no drama.
So big ups to you.
Sometimes we live a lie because the truth offends too many people we love and care for - Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteGood one you.
ReplyDeleteAnother way of thinking about it, perhaps? You are not just protecting you...you are also sortoff protecting them. Sparing them from (wrongly directed) anguish and 'prayer' blah blah blah.
I am also keeping something from my parents, and that is my biggest reasoning...