Thursday, June 30, 2011

The aeon is over....

My internship at Health 24 comes to an end... a rather funny one, with me wearing my cheap R20 stall bought Peruvian hat and multicoloured scarf... and the rest of my outfit, completely gray...

Anyways I'm not going to blog about my year here... Why? well I'll save it for some other time :-)

But for now, I'm leaving you with this song:



Mr Lovelace out :) ....

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Albert Fish...

A few weeks ago I bought a few books about serial killers, and admittedly, I enjoy reading books about serial killers and how they got caught... I admire the efforts of the detectives responsible for the apprehension of these mindless beings...

My tiny obsession with serial killers began when I first heard about John Wayne Gacy, then Jack the Ripper, Ted Bundy, Harold Shipman, Zodiac Killer etc etc etc... I loved diving into serial killers, mass murderers and famous one time killers...

This tiny obsession lead me to want a career in forensics, well I've always known that I want to have a career in which I can have the chance to help people, and to find killers, is a way to help people... Idealistic I know, but still, I believe I can help many people... Well I never got a chance to get into forensics, my science mark was to low to get me into any tertiary school, so I went for choice number two... Journalism... something I've always leaned to... I may not have a direct link to change someone's life, but I know in the long run, my skills as a journalist and my thirst for the truth will help someone in the future...

So any way, I started reading my new serial killer book, starting off with a serial killer I've never heard of before... and I was a little freaked out... I can't even imagine how the mother of the victim could have felt...

His name is, was Albert Fish... he only confessed to one murder, but it is believed that he killed many before this specific murder...

This is Albert Fish

I'll save you the bio and tell what really shocked me...

Long introduction short, Fish kidnapped a little girl by the name of Grace Budd. He had read ad posted by Graces older brother Edward. At the time he (Edward) was looking for a job and Fish went to them with the pretense of hiring Edward, he used the name Frank Howard. A few days later he devised a plan and kidnapped Grace. It was late May 1928.

Grace Budd Kidnapped at age 10
Six years later on 11 November 1934, Grace's mother recieved a letter in the post from Albert Fish, who turned it over to the detective hellbent on solving the case, William King was his name (btw he did solve the case, thanks to the envelope of the letter).

Here is what shocked me: the letter: (its not the whole letter, the top part was irrelevant to the murder of Grace Budd)

On Sunday June the 3 --1928 I called on you at 406 W 15 St.  Brought you pot cheese -- strawberries.  We had lunch.  Grace sat in my lap and kissed me.  I made up my mind to eat her.

On the pretense of taking her to a party.  You said Yes she could go.  I took her to an empty house in Westchester I had already picked out.  When we got there, I told her to remain outside.  She picked wildflowers.  I went upstairs and stripped all my clothes off.  I knew if I did not I would get her blood on them.

When all was ready I went to the window and called her.  Then I hid in a closet until she was in the room.   I grabbed her and she said she would tell her mamma. When she saw me all naked she began to cry and tried to run down the stairs.

First I stripped her naked.  How she did kick -- bite and scratch.  I choked her to death, then cut her in small pieces so I could take my meat to my rooms.  Cook and eat it.  How sweet and tender her little ass was roasted in the oven.  It took me 9 days to eat her entire body.  I did not fuck her tho I could of had I wished.  She died a virgin."

I have nothing else to say...


Mr Love lace out...

Monday, June 27, 2011

Three words... is all it took...

So for those of you who think my life and my blog is exciting - thank you, thank you - you must have read my previous blog entry with the line "Breaking news: I just got asked out on a date......". Well here's my date in a nutshell...

You guessed it, I got stood up... My very first actual date and I got stood up... How nice is that??? To start of my dating life with rejection... It really really hurt... I always sympathised when I saw the "stood up" scenes in the movies, but now, I empathise...

I felt like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed here's the scene:



Well I have been thrown with an egg before(and firecrackers, stones and sticks [go figure], a condom, water balloons, rugby ball, soccer ball, cricket ball -that fuckin hurt- a glass bottle (or cup can't remember), paper shit - yes, actual shit - mouldy bread, a teacher once threw me with a MASSIVE set of keys, a wooden plank and a glass plate... ), so I can empathise with this clip anyways...

Here's a email I sent to a friend about the date (or lack there of) and my emotions afterwards...:


Hey ______!!

Long story short, we planned to meet up on sat… we never decided on a time, he was just going to let me know… so I sent him a sms about 11.30 asking him what time he was going to pick me up… the second I sent him the sms, he was suddenly “on his way” from Town to fetch me at Total in Richwood… I thought the timing of him leaving and me sending the message was a little too suspicious… so like 15 minutes later he said he arrived at the total … and I replied that I was running a little late, because he never told me what time he was going to pick me up… BTW its IMPOSSIBLE to go from town to Richwood in 15 minutes, with or without the traffic… then I arrived at the total and I sent him a message asking him where he was and then like 5 minutes later he sent me “Can’t do this”… so I sent him a sms “Oh ok, why not?” and I haven’t heard from him since…

Now I know what his intentions were, all he wanted to do, was hook up and have his gay fuck fantasy… and I am not that cheap to have sex on the first day, I've learnt from past mistakes...I doubt he was even at Total… maybe he saw me and thought I looked too gay to be caught around with, whatever it was I don’t care, as far as I’m concerned, he’s the one with the problem, not me… I couldn’t care less… admittedly, I was a bit upset and hurt, but most of all I was angry… I was angry because I shaved, I was angry because I got all excited, I was angry because I had lie to my family, I was angry because I wasted airtime, I was angry because I felt like a disposable rag, I was angry because I had to get up early and get ready, I was angry because I had to iron clothes on a Saturday morning and I never iron my clothes on Saturday, only Sunday nights, I was angry because I couldn’t go back home after he stood me up, I was angry because I wasted an entire Saturday, the only day that I can have that’s peaceful, I was angry because I was going to buy my friend a nice birthday gift while we were supposed to be on our date, but most of all I was angry at myself for being so angry over something that shouldn’t have made me so angry… I was angry for about 15 minutes and then I went to my friends house to hide for a while before having to go home and then lie to my parents and sister again about going out with friends to Canal Walk… I had to lie and say I wasn’t hungry because I had “already ate at Canal walk” when the truth is I was starving because I never ate the whole day, I got home at 4… I swear, if I never had that 15 minutes to cool off, I probably would have killed someone… and I’m not joking… cold blooded murder… I was outraged… 

So three measly words is all it took to not only ruin my day or at least part of it, but to totally screw up my first date EVER... I wasn't devastated at least, which shows emotional growth... I never let it get to me, which for me is like reaching a milestone in my wildly chaotic emotional life... If those three words "Cant do this" or being left standing at a petrol garage looking like a fool can upset me so badly and I've grown to the point where I can just dust it off, what would've happened if I was still the emotional wreck I was six months ago??? Honestly, I would have thought it was me... I would have thought I was the one who fucked up , that it was my fault he didn't want to go out with me...me me me, all my fault... I would've probably hurt myself, or punished myself... even though it wasn't my fault... 

If you've ever stood up on a date before, shame on you, you have no idea how it feels... especially if that person has insecurities, both physical and emotional maybe even neurological... and if you've been stood up before, I feel you :) and to those of you who will enter the group of "I've been stood up", I'm so sorry you had to join... but its alright, we are not alone and we are better off without the fucker...

Mr love lace out...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The benefits of public transportation

Yes, just like the title says, public transportation does have its benefits... mind you, those benefits are, well, odd...

I'm not talking about not saving petrol, less traffic yadda yadda... the real benefits are sitting down and pretending to be asleep and eavesdropping (and then sometimes not, seeing they talk so damn loud...)

The conversations people have are HYSTERICAL!!!

Yesterday I sat on the bus for approx. 40 mins and the only conversation I heard was from a group of late fourty somethings and early 50 somethings... The conversation was all about sex... the irony of it all is that yours truly - a 21 year old, lacking in all forms of intimacy- knows EVERYTHING they were talking about, yet it was like their eyes were opened for the first time...

The conversation first started off with one of them reading of the back of what I believed to be a Mills and Boon - I admit, I do read them - They or rather one of the four "shes" was reading it rather loudly... and quite charismatically to...

After the Mills and Boon came what I think was probably a Cosmopolitan magazine... and for what its worth, the way they carried on, it was like they were paging through a playboy for the first time... I held my laughter...

One of the quotes they used (they were talking about penis size) was "its not the size that counts, its the motion of the ocean"... cliche I know... but what bothered me the most, was the way they said it... almost as if they themselves created the corny saying...

Then they carried on and on about vibrators, I'm not too sure... I kinda blanked out... I was fantasizing about Vin Diesel again... well in specific "Riddick" actually... I was thinking about how he'd come running after me... I will not go into detail about what I was thinking at the time, for if I do, I might as well write a book...

After a while they got off the bus and I was still thinking about Riddick... lol

Other benefits of the bus include making up conversations... I like to watch other people on the far end of the bus (I sit quite close to the back of the bus) and think up conversations... it sounds boring, but its quite entertaining...

Another cool feature of the bus, is you can watch people in cars... the shit they get up to is oscar worthy... From picking their nose, to singing along to a song, dancing, BBMing (which annoys me)

BREAKING NEWS: I just got asked out on a date................


I'm way to excited to work let alone blog.... let me go count my chickens before they hatch...

Mr Love lace out :)

I don't like the taste of precum...

Hopefully that headline attracted your eyes to read this blog, because I am in serious need of inspiration for blogging...  Sucker... (no pun intended)

Over the past week or so, I have been so incredibly busy all I could blog was either video clips or images... not exactly my blog of choice... so now that I have some time, I've been twaddeling my fingers trying to figure out what the buck to blog about...

Hmmmmm hows about an update on my life????

Currently I am eating marie biscuits... listening to the sound of people typing... cleaning my teeth after each marie biscuit, I'm sure I have a tongue of steel... I am craving white wine... awaiting the birth of my niecephew


I cannot wait till my sister pops it out!!! Super excited!!!

Uhmmmmmmmmmm in other news, I have joined the crowd of gaydar... Yay/ ney?????

So far I've only got one reply...

Hmmm I can officially say that I am now CRUSH free - yet again - seeing as my last crush, also turns out to be straight... and has a girl friend FML...

Well anyways gotta think of something to blog about now...

Maybe I should blog about precum... I probably know more about it than a veteran porn star... I do work in health media after all...

Mr Love lace out

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Animation station...

I'm a huge fan of animation always have been and always will be... take a look at some of the video clips I've come across and the pictures that called to me :)

I liked this one mainly because, I see a lot of myself in this little girl... at times I really can't stand my parents, but then there times when I would sacrifice myself to protect them...



This video almost made me cry... this is beautiful and sad...



And this one is just perfect :)



Picture time :)
I really like this picture... It's so tender, and warm and loving... I know this is tom of finland... I'm not a complete idiot... but I just happened to come across this picture while reading someones blog ... a harmless one ...
Well I am practically Emo minus the Emo-ness... 


 Fortune cookies are my favourite :) I have one one on my PC monitor at work. It says: tomorrow doesn't exist yet, live now. A work friend gave me the fortune cookie... so nice of her.. :)
I LOVE TURTLES!!! THEY ARE SO CUTE AND LOVE-ABLE AND CUTE AND HUGGABLE AND I WANT ONE AND LOVE THEM AND JUST LOVE THEM OK!!! WHEN I GET A TURTLE I'M GOING TO NAME HIM NATHANIEL!!!!

This chick>> << is practically me in a nutshell....

I LOVE DUCKS LIKE I LOVE TURTLES!!! OMW EVERYTIME I SEE A DUCK I JUST WANT TO FEED IT, HUG IT, PET IT, TAKE IT HOME WITH ME... WHEN I ADOPT A DUCK I'M GOING TO NAME IT EITHER AGATHA (IF FEMALE) OR DOUGGIE (IF MALE)

I think pigs are a highly underrated farm animal...


I just fell in love with this picture... its gorgeous!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I prefer perving over guys with shirts on

Ok so, my celeb crush for the week is Vin Diesel, BUT before I get to his pics,I just wanted to say a few words and why Vin Diesel...


I know looking at a man with as little clothes on is super hot, but there's something about looking at a man portrait photo that really spikes my blushes...

When I see a man in a pic, fully clothed, it leaves so much to the imagination... and in all honesty, I think those pics are the best and the sexiest... Why? Evertime I see a guy posing topless I feel incredibly intimidated and the immediate thought that pops into my head is: "this guy knows he's hot" and for me, knowing your hot and advertising it, is very unsexy like...

I know, I know, that's not always the case, but I still feel that way...

The reason I have a serious Celeb crush on Vinny dearest, is thanks to my co-worker who said if she won the R102 million lottery, she'd buy all of us boyfriends... at first I chose Marco Da Silva, for two reasons, 1) He's actually gay and 2) He's a really nice guy! But seeing as I chose the most unfamous celeb, I decided to up the celeb-dom status and went straight (no pun intended) to Vin Diesel, whom I've always had a thing for... I'm a HUGE MEGA SUPER DUPER UBER AWESOME MAGNIFICO FANATICAL FAN of manly men... and by that I don't mean, overly muscular and deep voiced men (which Vin Diesel does happen to be), but a man who has "Dad" qualities. A man who will jump in front of a bullet, go into a dark kitchen with a cricket bat, go to every last sport (or dance) event for his kids, demand to be the designated driver, a man who will never let his wife (or in my case husband) or kids go to bed cold or hungry... Quality... a real man, not a sex idol or bedroom dream come true... hard on the outside for everyone to see, but soft on the inside just for me :)

Mr Vinny D happens to be that kind of manly man...
I mean, wouldn't you like to wake up every morning to this adorable man??? 
 Mr Love lace is OUT bitches!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Invader Lovelace!!!

I love love love the show Invader Zim!!! Too bad the show was cancelled...

I love all the main characters, mainly because I see a lot of myself in each of them...But I especially love GIR... He'e a crazy robot that disguises himself as a dog... he wears an unconvincing green dog costume... He's obsessed with waffles and has pig for a friend... :) he is SUPER CUTE!!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

This was so funny i just had to share it with you :)

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

He orders a drink, and while he''s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them.

Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them.

Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone''s amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, " Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, " No, what?"

" He just ate the cue ball off my pool table!

He swallowed it whole!"

" Yeah, that doesn''t surprise me,"  replied the guy.

" He eats everything in sight, the little bastard.

Sorry. I''ll pay for the cue ball and stuff." 

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate then leaves.
Two weeks later he''s in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.

He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted.

" Did you see what your monkey did now?"  he asks.

" No, what?"  replies the guy.

" Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his ass, pulled them out, and ate em!"  said the bartender.

" Yeah, that doesn''t surprise me,"  replied the guy.

" He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures everything first."  !!!


Mr Love lace out

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Me, myself, pet peeves and I...

Boo... 

Yip that would be me... not the most photogenic person out there, but hey... not all of us can be...

Anyways I just thought it would be time I showed you guys what I look like... this is a photo of me taken, by myself - don't judge me, I am not vain, just very bored - I took this photo while I was on the train commuting from Bellville to Cape Town...

Anyways, I thought I'd share with you a few of my pet peeves and a few things that I do that annoys other people...

Lets start off with:

10 of my pet peeves:

1) I hate people wearing flip flops...
2) I hate it when people sneeze and not cover their noses...
3) I really hate it when people give this judgemental look at the clothes I'm about to buy...
4) I have little fits of rage when people chew with their mouths open...
5) I hate it when people slide their feet when they wear slippers
6) I hate it when I'm at the beach and people tell me to take my shirt off... WTF???
7) I hate it when cashiers have private conversations instead of paying attention to the customer...
8) I hate it when people just chuck the clothes back on the shelf at the clothing stores...
9) I can't stand it when people recite sentences from the Bible... as if its suppose to mean something to me...
10) I hate it when I'm the queue at the shop and the person behind me is sighing and "oohing" and "aahing" because the cashier is slow, when in the mean time its a customer who is hassling the cashier for some stupid reason...

10 things I do that annoy people:

1) I bite my nails
2) I jog my leg
3) I have a habit of rubbing my hands together...
4) I have a habit of talking too fast
5) I brood
6) I have a creepy stare... (apparently...)
7) I always correct people when they pronounce a word incorrectly (I admit, that is annoying... I've toned down a bit... now I just correct the person when the repeatedly say the word the wrong way)
8) I hug too much...
9) I lock my room door, even when I'm inside my room... (this only applies to family... I do it, because I need to teach them to knock first... something they don't understand)
10) I go to the toilet to often... (I have a weak bladder...)

Here's another pickie of me :D also only this one is from the train station and not inside a the train...

Mr love lace out...